Wanted: Needs and Desires Part 1.

It is not everyday that you come across a person who can be at par of your level of kink.
I mean, who would have thought that the not-so-silent, uberly active debater, studious, highly spiritual individual is into kink? I am not  poser

It is not everyday that you come across a person who can be at par of your level of kink. 

I mean, who would have thought that the not-so-silent, uberly active debater, studious, highly spiritual individual is into kink? I am not  poser or a hypocrite trying to hide in a sheep's clothing but I think you would understand how we all have that three kinds of life: Public life, Private life, and a Secret life. Everyone has that skeleton on the closet we all try to hide with our very best. The reason why these skeletons exists is because these are our release. Release from stress, from sorrows, inhibitions and sometimes the door of our dreams from reality. Doors to our fantasies you would never have thought possible. 

Every human being has to fulfill each level of needs. As Maslow's have put it, he designed a hierarchy based on his reality of life and his studies as well. There are specific needs in Maslow's hierarchy of needs which encompasses the BDSM lifestyle and affects the other needs as well: security and love&belongingness. 

Love and that sense of belongingness. This is what everyone has been trying to achieve: to feel that love from people you hold dear and that sense of belongingness from your frienda and family. Not as outsider or an outcast. That feeling that you are wanted or needed despite your demons and horrors of reality. The feeling that you belong despite your peculiarity. The feeling that you are accepted despite all your broken pieces and cracked surface. This very feeling, this need, is what I felt when I indulged myself in the lifestyle. As a Switch myself, I've felt the need that I am needed when I am on.my dominant self or that I am wanted when I submit to my Dom. The dynamics gave me a new perspective in life and in myself that I never discovered in my past Vanilla relationships. Now please dont get me wrong. I am not saying that BDSM is the only avenue to feel this. Of course there are other avenues which you will feel this way. Believe me, I've tried a lot of Vanilla relationships but it all did not work. There was even a time when I had to given up this lifestyle just to have a normal relationship but it all did not work. 

Bondage 101

Of love gained and love lost Part 1

I have been in the BDSM lifestyle for quite sometime and experienced a lot of BDSM dynamics.
Of course, before I entered the BDSM lifestyle, I was in a VANILLA relationship. In fact, I've had few vanilla relationships before I entered the scene. Before BDSM was introduced to me, I've had relationships with men and women alike until I met this one man who introduced BDSM to me.

At first, I didn't really know that what we're doing is called BDSM or has BDSM dynamics on it. He just injected a bit of a role play in it: he will portray as my dad and I will be his baby girl. I wasn't comfortable at first because I imagined my dynamics with my dad... And I can't have sex with MY Daddy. Jeez. He tried his best to explain it that it's not incest and that I am not literally sexing my father (because he is not my father) but I am having a hard time internalizing the Daddy/babygirl dynamics so he changed it to Master/babygirl dynamics. And that's how I became a baby girl.

Is BDSM a SEXUAL Disorder??

A lot of people, people who are into the lifestyle or not, has been bothered by the question: Do I have a mental disorder if I'm into BDSM???

I think before we get into specifics, we must understand BDSM in a deeper context and analyze the things involved in the lifestyle.


According to DSM 5 of American Psychological Association, before a person is diagnosed by a sexual disorder or paraphilic disorder a person requires:

• feel personal distress about their interest, not merely distress resulting from society’s disapproval; or 
• have a sexual desire or behavior that involves another person’s psychological distress, injury, or death, or a desire for sexual behaviors involving unwilling persons or persons unable to give legal consent. 

To qoute DSM-V, "It is a subtle but crucial difference that makes it possible for an individual to engage in consensual atypical sexual behavior without inappropriately being labeled with a mental disorder. With this revision, DSM-5 clearly distinguishes between atypical sexual interests and mental disorders involving these desires or behaviors."

So with this said, it doesn't necessarily mean that u have fetishes that is unique for others would mean a psychological disorder. 

Source: DSM-V American Psychiatric Association. Retrieved from http://www.dsm5.org/Documents/Paraphilic%20Disorders%20Fact%20Sheet.pdf